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Self-Awareness: The Super Power that Most People Ignore

dan@superself.org (Dan Hulsman) — Tue, 11 Feb 2014 04:12:00 GMT

"Self awareness," is one of those characteristics that everyone claims to have some level of mastery over, but I'm going to have to disagree with about 90% of people. Sure, every human is aware of themselves to some degree; The self-awareness I'm referring to is a more specific skill set which can help you overcome challenges and temper your emotional state. But what is self awareness? Can you learn to become more self aware? Let's start with the dictionary definition.

What exactly IS Self Awareness?

Self awareness (noun): Conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires.

Boom. Definition acquired. I thought I was going to have to take a stab at the definition myself, but this is actually a fine definition. How is this valuable, and what does it look like in common practice? I'll use a super-basic example involving my commute to work and my lunch money:

If I buy lunch at or around my office, I can expect to pay $8-10 per lunch, which can total around $200 per month in lunches. Ouch!
The alternative to buying my lunch is making my lunch at home, which costs $2-4 depending on the meal - I eat a big lunch, so I'll say $4. That's about $80 per month in lunches.
At this point, people usually take one of two routes with this information.
- GROUP A: They talk about how they "really should pack lunch more often," but never do and feel some level of guilt or lack of discipline on the matter.
- GROUP B: Alternatively, a person may commit to a new life of lunch-packing. Most people seem to fail at this after a very short stint, and then jump back in with Group A with an even greater sense of guilt, lack of discipline, or failure.
Self awareness: The money savings alone is not enough to motivate me to batch-create lunches on Sunday before the work week, or wake up earlier to make a lunch every day. Unless this changes (which it might, if financial goals or situations change), I will almost certainly fail if I try to pack my lunches. Deductively speaking, the extra work involved and slight decrease in sleep is not worth $120/month to me.
Knowing this, I can be honest with myself about the fact that I don't care enough about the extra $120/month to do the extra work of planning my lunches ahead of time, shopping appropriately, and making my lunches. As a result, I will allow myself to be guilt-free about buying a $10 lunch and will not gripe to any of my coworkers about how I "really should pack lunch more often." No needless complaining about myself, no feelings of guilt or indiscipline, and no failure because I didn't set myself up to fail in the first place.
Conversely, I truly believe that soda is a horrible thing to put into my body (I love soda) and still have a desire to cut down on my expenses. If I want to lower my monthly cost in lunches, I can drink water at the water cooler in my office and stop buying a soda with lunch everyday to shave off a cool $1-2 per day for a savings of $20-40 per month. In this case, I'm avoiding a probable failure and trading it for a probable success.

This is a relatively minor example of what's possible, but the basic outline is the same. If you know your situation and yourself, you can control the emotional and physical outcome for increased happiness or decreased negative feelings. The tricky part for most people is consciously knowing something about themselves - deep down, I may know in the back of my mind that I'll never pack my lunch. However, unless I consciously articulate and accept this about myself, it is a trap waiting to be sprung.

Some other super-simple examples of my own self-awareness...

I know that playing guitar makes me happy, and that the smallest obstacle can deter me from playing. If my guitar is in a case, I currently don't have the motivation to take it out and play with any regularity. As such, I've placed one of my guitars within arms-reach of a place I spend a lot of time sitting and watching/waiting (my computer chair). +1 Fulfilling activity
I know that I cannot leave my iPhone apps alone if they have a badge icon (the little red numbers that tell you you have 2 missed calls or 4 unread e-mails or 3 software updates available). I also know that I get massively stressed out if I'm thinking too much about work when I'm at home. I also constantly play with my iPhone. As such, I have a separate e-mail app for my work email with all notifications turned off. I can still access the email to look something up if I need to, but the app will not beckon me to work with pesky sounds or icons and I will not accidentally see my work email piling up if I check my personal email because they are in two different apps. -1 Stressor

Using Self Awareness: The Bigger Picture

Now, I've used some really everyday examples of this stuff at work - email, lunches, and guitar - but the real magic of self-awareness comes from the bigger stuff. I recently changed jobs from one that made me fairly unhappy to one that makes me much happier because I took the time to identify the specific factors that I found both precious and demoralizing. I felt like my last job was unrelated to my interests, so I looked for a job related closely to a personal passion (online marketing). I loved working with smart, young people at my old job so I made sure to find a place with a younger demographic and a high bar for accepting new job applicants. I found punching a timecard for shifts and lunches demeaning and frustrating because I'm an adult and I don't want anyone hassling me about showing up 6 minutes late if I have nothing scheduled and still get my job done. As a result, I chose a company that offers a lot of autonomy over your schedule and your location. I just found a place that fit the bill and went after the job I wanted until I got in the door.

Now it's your turn - look critically at something you're struggling with. Is it your job? Losing weight? Keeping in touch with that friend from high school? Pick something and dig deeper into the reasons that you allowed the situation to exist in the first place, and make sure you have honest and realistic expectations for yourself now. The goal is to either leverage your self-awareness to increase your happiness (ex: putting my guitar within arms-reach) or to liberate yourself from a pointless negative feeling (ex: accepting the fact that I would rather pay $120 than pack 20 lunches in a month).

Let me know what you chose, and what you're doing to increase happiness or kick a negative feeling to the curb!

Using Structured Self Development to Level Up your Life

dan@superself.org (Dan Hulsman) — Sun, 02 Feb 2014 16:35:00 GMT

In video games, there’s a very interesting gaming mechanic which can drive people to spend countless hours of effort: leveling up. This is a major feature to many Role Playing Games (the Final Fantasy series, World of Warcraft, Skyrim) and it consumes people until they’ve achieved their goal. In some games, “leveling up” will increase your characters skills or abilities , unlock new features or weapons, or move the story of along. Sometimes the only reward is a cosmetic effect for your character, and other times the reward comes in the form of a trophy, badge, or title that indicates you’ve accomplished something specific. These in-game achievements keep players coming back again and again as they strive to build the perfect in-game character.

What if we took this same approach with real life? What if we could level up our lives and our real-life character by taking advantage of these same mechanics? To that point, why aren’t we doing this more already?! It seems to make total sense. For today’s post, I’m going to talk about leveling up your life just like it was a video game.

But aren't we already doing this?

This gaming mechanic kind of exists in our lives already, but not in very obvious or tangible ways. For example, as you gain experience in your career you’re building up your knowledge, skills, and value as an employee or tradesman. Unfortunately, it’s usually difficult to quantify that kind of progress within the context of a year unless you achieve some sort of major milestone or update your resume. Your LinkedIn profile gets filled out and your resume gets longer/more impressive, but this is hardly an incentive to keep working over the course of several months. Getting promoted, on the other hand, is a great motivator for many people - but promotions usually only happen every 1-3 years or so, which leaves you with a long stretch of time in which you aren’t feeling your progress being made.

You may be going to the gym 3 times a week to get in shape, which is sort of like battling monsters to level up in a video game. Both take time and usually involve repetitive tasks, yet regularly going to the gym is one of the toughtest habits for people to establish. In contrast, it’s very easy to get someone addicted to a game like World of Warcraft even though it consumes more time and often yields little-to-no benefit in your actual life. People pick up and quit musical instruments all the time, but kids developed amazing reaction times and dexterity through Guitar Hero and other similar games. Why does it seem like we have it backwards?

There are several reasons why gaming mechanics belong in your real life, and these mechanics could propel you to new heights if you took advantage of them. Game designers often craft the player experience around behaviors and actions which are habit-forming to increase the replay value of their game. But why does it work so damned well?

The Real-Life RPG: Structured Self Development is Broken

At my last job, I had number metrics that were important and I had other, less tangible qualities, that were apparently equally important to getting promoted. Happily, most of my managers had different ideas of what those qualities should be and how they were interpretted within the context of my job. Already, I’m starting at a disadvantage because there isn’t a clear path to success: If I succeed in the eyes of Manager A, I could be completely off course from Manager B’s idea of promotion-ready. This was enough to be frustrating. The worst part, however, was working for 2 years towards 3-5 different definitions of “promotion-ready,” which set me up to fail at all 5 because my effort was unfocused. They even tried (bless their hearts) to standardize the playbook, but nobody ever paid attention to the playbook between quarterly reviews and several criteria were intangilble (ex: “Drive for results,” “effective communication,” and “Managing vision & purpose” were numerically measured on a spreadsheet by my managers). You gave me a score of 4 (out of 5) for Driving Results? Great! Are you talking about driving my personal results, or driving results through others? Which results are we talking about, anyways? There was ambiguity at every step which was, ironically, another criteria by which we were measured (“dealing with ambiguity”). *sigh*

That’s just one example, but the same failure happens in other areas. Learning guitar? Better practice those scales until you hate music, becaues this book said so! Nevermind the fact that your guitar teacher has a differing opinion, the other books tell you different strategies, and most of them probably don’t ask you what your goal is for learning the guitar. This can send an excited new musican who just wants to play/sing along with their favorite Katy Perry CD (you know who you are) tumbling down the rabbit hole that’s more appropriate for an intermediate guitar player with some music theory background and a desire to play guitar solos someday. The same problem exists in both examples: lack of goal-oriented action, ambiguous pathways to success, an ineffective or non-existant method for measuring progress, and the absence of quick-wins or short-term milestones.

The Digital RPG: Leveling up works beautifully,

but all you get is a shiny striped tiger.

I once spent several hours across several days playing World of Warcraft to unlock a special mount (a 'mount' is a rideable animal for transportation purposes). This stretch of time was extremely boring. It required me to run back and forth across a large in-game area, killing the same small groups of monsters over and over as they re-appeared over time to win in-game reputation points and collect items that the monsters would leave behind at a very low % rate. Why did I do this? The reward was a badass tiger with glowing stripes that almost nobody owned, and for whatever reason... I wanted that damned tiger. After winning the tiger, I rode into battle on the back of an extremely rare and badass tiger while everyone else rode around on their stupid horses and this made me happy How did I succeed at this but fail at going to the gym this month?

The failure points I referred to earlier were nowhere to be found. I knew FOR A FACT that a certain set of actions would move me closer to my goal. I even knew exactly how much closer each monster-kill would bring me, so I could caluclate my time and optimize my route/strategy to more effectively reach my goal. I also had a very simple and clear pathway to my goal: I had to collect X number of points, either by killing monsters for a set value or collecting the rare items they dropped for a different set value. I knew exactly how far I was from my goal at all times, both in points and time (because I did the math ahead of time), because my progress was tracked on a colorful bar at the bottom of the screen. If I had gotten 10% of the way there and became miserable, I knew that I would have to do the same work 9 more times and could make an informed decision to either quit or press onward. Additionally, I had a few small quick wins because the monster-slaying would lead to more in-game currency, experience points to unlock new skills, and my tiger points were tracked on a progress bar which leveled up as well. These quick wins didn’t mean a whole lot to me, but they were a nice byproduct of something I was already doing.

Leveling up your life, video game style!

Most real-life goals involve the same series of steps: you take repetitive and frequent steps to build a set of skills or strenghts in order to achieve a certain level of mastery in order to either feel good about yourself or unlock new opportunities. Want a nicer car? Save your money a little bit at a time, learn about ways to cut costs or increase income, grow your savings and purchasing power, and eventually you will have the potential to buy that car. The key is to identify and establish behaviors which move you closer to your goal, and provide yourself with clear information and milestones along the way. For the less-tangible things, you can transform your desire to “be” something into an action that indicates success. For example, if you want to be a better home cook your milestone could illustrate this skill by cooking dinner for a group of friends with no help. Want to be a better piano player? Choose a song that is currently beyond your ability, and your miltestone is to play that song without stopping or making mistakes. Each section of the song can be its own milestone, so you can learn the song a bit at a time and put the pieces together. Set reasonable milestones and repetitive actions to break it down into pieces or miniature quests.

I’m currently using the Everest app for iPhone to track my progress for this website. I want to have a successful websites, and there are several milestones that would indicate success at this. Happily, the behaviors are relatively simple - I need to write posts, I need to do it consistently and regularly, and I need to share and engage on Social Media. There's no hard definition for a "successful" website, but I've decided on milestones that would make it feel like a success to me. Here are some example tasks/milestones that I just started tracking within the app:

- Write a weekly blog post (repeating task)
- Share my blog post on Twitter & Google+ (repeating task)
- Share 1 daily piece of valuable content on social media (repeating task)
- Get 100 Followers on Twitter (milestone)
- Get 100 Likes on the SuperSelf Facebook Page (milestone)
- Get added to 100 Circles on Google+ (milestone)
- Get 100 blog subscribers (milestone)
- Have over 500 site visitors for 6 months in a row (milestone)
- Plan 3 Podcast interviews (milestone + repeating task)

The blog posts and Social Media habits will lead to most of the other milestones, so I’m focusing on building behavior WHILE working towards a milestone. If I achieve a milestone, it is not my ultimate GOAL but a strong indicator which demonstrates my progress towards that goal. The app tracks how many days in a row I’ve worked towards my ultimate goal of having a successful website based on these actions and milestones, and I can track the growth of my followers and subscribers over time with other software to see what’s working, what’s not, and make educated guesses about timeline once I have a couple months of data to look at.

Next steps: Leveling up YOUR life

Your turn, hombre. Ask yourself these questions and write your answers in the comments or on the SuperSelf Facebook page

What attribute, goal, or long term dream do you want to work towards?
What are a few milestones that would demonstrate progress along the way?
What small, frequent, and repetitive actions can I take to slowly build the necessary skills or work towards my milestones?
How will you track your progress?

Once you’ve chosen your path, it would be awesome to work towards our goals together! Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ or download the Everest app and look me up. You got this.

- Dan

How to Use the 80/20 Rule to Optimize Your Life

dan@superself.org (Dan Hulsman) — Sat, 25 Jan 2014 05:06:00 GMT

About 2 years ago, I somehow stumbled upon a copy of The Four Hour Work Week audiobook by Tim Ferriss. It is a fantastic book which is filled with mindset-altering truths, questions, and exercises that can leave you re-evaluating your thinking in many areas of life. One of my favorite principles from the book was born from an Italian economist who made a keen observation amidst his garden. This epihany, he found, went far beyond his garden and applied to several other facets of life.

The Pareto Principle (or, the 80-20 rule)

The Pareto Principle (also known as the "80-20 Rule,” “Pareto’s Law,” or the “Pareto Distribution”) is beautiful in its simplicity and usefulness. What did Pareto see in the garden that day? Our friend, Vilfredo, observed that 80% of his peas came from about 20% of his pea pods. To take this out of gardening terms for a moment, 80% of the desired outcome or output resulted from 20% of the input. On the one hand, this may sound like a terrible waste (what happened to the other 80% of the input?). On the other hand, if you take this principle and reframe it you can do some serious optimization in several different arenas and save yourself major time, money, and energy.

Finding the Minimum Effective Dose

The 80-20 Rule has two basic steps before the magic can happen. First, you must identify that magic 20% of the input/effort which yields the most. Note that the percentage values are somewhat arbitrary, but the point remains that you can often achieve a majority of the desired outcome with a more focused effort. Let's look at an example which will help illustrate the point.

Learning to play the guitar

There are dozens of chords with dozens of variations available to the guitar player. Even if you look at a single chord, you can play that chord in several different ways. With so many options, it can be confusing. It is a LOT of informaiton to organize in your head and hands. Fun fact: the most popular progression of chords in popular music right now is a sequence of 4 specific chords, which appear in so many popular songs it will make your head spin. How is this possible? This 4-chord progression is simple, predictable to the ear (which humans find pleasant), and provides a lot of flexibility for writing a melody to go with it. With some basic understanding of music theory (what the most common chords are and how they fit together), a little ear training so you can figure out which Key a song is in, and the ability to play the most common chord progressions relative you can suddenly play along to most popular music. No learning music scales, no complicated chord diagrams, and no sheet music required - which not only gets you faster results, but eliminates some of the top reasons beginning guitar players quit playing in the first place.

Identifying the Low-Yield 80%

The second step sounds easy but is usually painful - once you've identified the 20%, the second step is to eliminate or minimize the other 80%. By sacrificing these low-yield activities, you can reclaim valuable time, energy, money, happiness, and more. If you’re starting a new skill or activity, you can simple avoid the 80% as much as possible from the start. For things that you’re already spending (or wasting) your time on now, this fat-trimming might make you uncomfortable but pays you back in dividends. Let’s look at another example:

Your Facebook Account

If you’ve found this article, you probably have one already and have been using it for years. I’ve had a Facebook account since 2003 or something - back when Facebook was only for college students and you were limited to connecting to people who attended the same college as you. As Facebook expanded beyond college to high school, alumni, and eventually became a totally-inclusive platform so did our number of possible connections expand. Meet someone new? Friend request ‘em. Cute girl at the party you’re too afraid to talk to in person? Friend request ‘em. Family you never see? Friend request ‘em. Coworkers? Friend request ‘em (maybe). The potential for meaningful connection is only dwarved by Facebook’s potential for meaningless relationships and exchanges of information. After you’re done reading this post, log into Facebook and ask yourself the following questions (if you can make it past the News Feed without being distracted by someone’s pet photo or grump cat meme):

1. How many Facebook Friends do you have?

2. How many of your Facebook Friends have you spoken to, either in person or over the phone, in the past 6 months? 12 months? 3 years?

3. Look at the first 20 posts in your News Feed - how many of those are either interesting to you or somehow deepen your relationship with that person? (If you consider someone’s photo of their lunch or their 100th selfie as either interesting or valuable to your relationship, you may already be too far gone to rescue)

4. If Facebook suddenly forced all users to reduce their number of Friends by 90%, who would make the cut and why?

After asking yourself these questions, you’ll have a pretty good idea as to who is part of the solution and who is part of the endless distraction. The next step?

Trimming the Fat

Depending on your intended goal with Facebook, you should do a purge of all the folks who slipped into your Friends list without truly deserving it. De-friend with prejudice or, if you have the need/see value in a social network beyond the people you care about (to promote your business or blog, for example) you can bend Facebook to your will through a few minutes of clean-up and additional setup. Facebook is just one example, but you should take this approach with most tools, platforms, and services. Master Facebook so that it works for you. Watch TV on-demand on YOUR schedule to avoid the commercials and the trap of watching the next show in the queue. Relentlessly unsubscribe from email lists you don’t actually care about. If you wear the same 10 outfits over and over, get rid of the other 80% of the clothing that’s just taking up space. Take control and reclaim your precious time and energy from any area you can, and redistribute that time and energy towards the things that really matter to you.

Taking YOUR Next Step

In a nutshell, this is the 80/20 rule - identifying the 20% of effort which will achieve 80% of the desired result. From there, you can either magnify that 20% or eliminate the other low-yield activities. Now it’s your turn!

Where can you apply the 80/20 rule in your life? It can be anything, but tell me in the comments or on Twitter with #superself. Don’ t leave me hanging, either - I want to hear the results!

8 Success Stories: Taking Bold Action Towards a New Life (Part 2 of 2)

dan@superself.org (Dan Hulsman) — Sun, 29 Dec 2013 17:00:00 GMT

Earlier this month, I published Part 1 of a collection of 8 epic success stories about awesome individuals who decided that they wanted something different. Things were good for most of them, but something wasn't quite right. They felt something missing and took a leap of faith that paid off.

The point to all of this is a reminder that if you want to have a different life than you have, the power is yours (name that reference!). Seriously, you can make a change and the world won't punish you for it. Your family might freak out, or your friends might not understand - that's OK. If there's something about your life you want to change than you have the ability and the responsibility to change it. Shape your life until it looks the way you want it to, and to hell with anyone who tells you otherwise.

As another reminder, here are some things that everyone in this post has in common:

They were following a fairly typical path through life
They decided that they wanted a different situation
They took bold action towards changing their situation
None of them suffered any major negative or irreversible consequences
All of them increased their happiness and fulfillment

Jason Van Orden: Software engineer becomes a Podcasting powerhouse

Who: Jason Van Orden

Was: Software engineer

Pivoted to: Podcasting guru, author, speaker, and internet entrepreneur

Like Jeremy Frandsen in Part 1, I found Jason through Internet Business Mastery - their epic Podcast about internet business, marketing, and living a purposeful life. Before he became an international speaker, author, and co-host of the #1 internet business podcast on iTunes he was walking a different path: software engineer.

In 2002, a gloomy cloud began creeping in on Jason's world every Sunday morning as the imminent start to the business week came into sight (something he calls the "Sunday dread"). As he tried to see the bright side in the security his job offered him, his company began a round of layoffs and he quickly realized that this sense of security was false.

"For this false sense of security, I am giving up my time and energy to do stuff that other people ask me to do." - Jason Van Orden.

He wanted to wake up excited to face the day, and after coincidentally stumbling upon Guy Kowasaki's Rich Dad, Poor Dad at about the same time as his future business partner, Jeremy, he decided to take control. After dabbling in the world of Real Estate for a bit, he saw an opportunity in an up-and-coming media platform: Podcasting. He cracked the code for success with Podcasting, and authored Promoting Your Podcast - a book that spent time in the #1 spot for its category on Amazon. Between his Podcasting website, personal brand, and Internet Business Mastery Academy he spends his days funneling his passions and strengths into helping others pursue the internet business dream.

Myke Macapinlac: Structural Designer becomes a business consultant and dating expert

Who: Myke Macapinlac

Was: Structural Designer

Pivoted to: Dating expert, podcaster, and business consultant

If you’ve ever taken a look at Myke on social media, you’ll learn one thing very quickly: Myke is a hustler (not the bad kind). He is always moving, always doing, and always connecting with people. If I ever see a “Just enjoying a lazy afternoon,” post from Myke I’ll probably suspect that someone has hacked his Facebook account. From the way Myke talks and the relationships he develops online, you can tell that he’s having the time of his life. But, like many people, Myke started out by following a very conventional path laid before him by someone else.

"Just like most people, I followed the traditional social path. I went to school, got really good grades and got myself a corporate job. I had everything that society deemed to be successful. Something was wrong though. It didn’t make me happy. “ - Myke Macapinlac

After stumbling upon several inspiring podcasts (read which ones in this post), Myke decided to pursue location independence and a new career working for himself. Between 2006 and 2011, Myke was a structural designer. His work history from 2011 onward looks a bit different: Founder of High Caliber Dating, Digital Marketing Consultant, New Business Consultant, Author of Magnetic Dating. How did he do it? He started freelancing in 2011 and started scaling back on his full time job with the new income. He soon took a leave of absence from work to focus on growing his client base and quit his job 6 weeks later. See what I mean? Hustler.

Jenny Blake: Google employee quits to become an author and entrepreneur

Who: Jenny Blake

Was: Career Development Program Manager at Google

Pivoted to: Author, business coach, and yoga teacher

I came across Jenny Blake on the recently-discontinued Podcast, The Rise to the Top, on which she was interviewed on her rise to success after walking away from a dream job at Google. After starting the Life After College blog and eventually authoring a book, Jenny went on sabbatical from Google to promote and focus on promoting her book. As the end-date to her sabbatical loomed nearer, she decided to take a piece of her own advice and “live big” by making her Google career PAUSE into a permanent STOP.

"What was once a side project has become a full-blown love affair, and though I am slightly terrified about how to feed myself in the real world, I am taking my own advice about “living big” and pursuing my passion by making the leap into self-employment.” - Jenny Blake, in her goodbye letter to her Google co-workers.

Her leap of faith paid off. She is now a personal brand to be reckoned with, a best-selling author, a micro-business coach, and an international speaker. Oh, and when she’s not traveling she teaches yoga in NYC because it’s important to her. This isn’t just a story about someone who walked away from a job to start a business - this is a story about someone who walked away from a ‘dream’ job because her dream was bigger and better for her.

Pat Flynn: Laid-off Architect turns into a passive income guru

Who: Pat Flynn

Was: Job Captain of an Architecture firm

Pivoted to: Blogging and online business guru

Pat Flynn is another internet business success story and Podcasting rockstar who, unlike most of the people on this list, was thrust out of his old life unexpectedly when the US economy tanked. He liked his job, but the rug was pulled out from under him back in 2008 and he found himself facing a countdown to unemployment with little to no hope for landing a new architect gig. Instead of taking the opportunity to go back to school like the rest of the world, Pat decided to bet on himself and explore the possibility of working for himself.

Luckily, he had created a blog for himself in 2007 to organize his notes as he prepared for taking the LEED (Leadership in Energy & Environmental Design) exam. After passing the exam, the blog had outlived its usefulness for Pat (or so he thought) and his attention turned elsewhere until he was laid off.

After enrolling in the Internet Business Mastery Academy (run by the previously-mentioned Jeremy Frandsen & Jason Van Orden), Pat took another look at his LEED exam blog. To his surprise, thousands of people were visiting every single day to learn prepare for the exam! In October of 2008, Pat published an eBook study guide on his website and made about $8,000 in the first month. He never looked back.

He eventually went on to start a blog teaching others to create passive income online as he did, and hosts the popular Smart Passive Income Podcast. Aside from that, he challenges himself with public speaking engagements and released another eBook earlier this year about his journey from unemployment to self-empowerment. You can get Pat's book, Let Go, on Amazon, Nook, and Snippet.

Conclusion & Next Steps:

If your life is not what you want it to be, it is your responsibility to change it. Take full responsibility for your own happiness and well-being. While you're at it, take a chance or two - you might be surprised at how well things turn out.

Questions? Comments? I'd love to hear them in the comments below or over in the Twitter-sphere.

8 Success Stories: Taking Bold Action Towards a New Life (Part 1 of 2)

dan@superself.org (Dan Hulsman) — Sun, 29 Dec 2013 16:59:00 GMT

If you ask someone about their hopes, dreams, and aspirations you'll probably get some pretty interesting answers. Those answer will also probably fall across a pretty wide spectrum; One person may want to write a book, another may want to start their own business someday. The waiter taking your order may want to be a graphic designer, your co-worker may have dreams of becoming a piano player, and your friend may want to leave the job (which many would kill for) to pursue more interesting or fulfilling work at a no-name start-up or nonprofit organization. If you ask those same people when they're going to take action, why they haven't started sooner, or what their plan is for actually achieving those dreams the answers suddenly start to sound the same across the group:

"I just don't have the time right now to..."
"Once I reach X obligatory milestone, I'll finally..."
"If I knew where to start, I'd..."
"I'm afraid I'm not good enough to..."

Ever heard one of these come out of a friend's mouth (or your own) before? There are many people who want to be in a dramatically different situation, but the thought of making such a sudden or drastic change can be terrifying - paralyzing, even. These excuses are disguises for common fears - fear of change, fear of uncertainty, fear of failure - that prevent us from pursuing our goals. The thought of pivoting and doing irreparable or irreversible damage to our current trajectory can stop us in our tracks, despite the fact that we may WANT to make an irreversible change in our destiny. The safest path may seem like the best choice, but if it costs you a dream than the safe route can be the most costly in the long haul.

Today's post is part 1 of 2, and features people who decided to make a major change in their lives and drastically improved their situation by doing so. All of these changes were pretty drastic - a Google employee becomes an author, a night-club promoter becomes a humanitarian, etc. - and none of these changes caused the sky to fall. Here are some things that the stars of these success stories have in common:

They were following a fairly typical path through life
They decided that they wanted a different situation
They took bold action towards changing their situation
None of them suffered any major negative or irreversible consequences
All of them increased their happiness and fulfillment

Penn Holderness: ESPN reporter and anchorman becomes a video production entrepreneur

Who: Penn Holderness
Was: TV Host, ESPN Reporter, and News Anchorman
Pivoted to: Working at a video production and digital marketing firm with his wife

The name may not ring a bell at first glance, but if you've seen the viral video, "XMas Jammies," from the Holderness family then you've seen Penn Holderness rap about his pajamas while dancing in his driveway. His family's video Christmas card went viral on YouTube this month (approaching 8-million views as I write this post), which lines up perfectly with Penn's decision to leave his job as a news anchor to join his wife at Greenroom Communications - a full-service video production and digital marketing firm. Why is this so remarkable? Penn says it best on his personal blog:

"Penn Holderness is an 18 year veteran of the TV business. Since college (UVA) he’s been a sports director in Colorado and Orlando, a TV host for Designer Finals, an ESPN Reporter, and most recently a newsanchor in Raleigh.

And after those 18 years, he’s decided that he isn’t really interested in about half of the things he talked about on the news. So he’s quitting. He now owns a production/marketing company (visitthegreenroom.com), and is using this blog to showcase the 100% of things he actually cares about."

The beauty in Penn's description is in its simplicity: He spent 18 years doing something, decided that he isn't interested anymore, so he stopped doing it to do something else. Boom. Done. It makes total sense, and yet this simple decision-making process eludes some of the best and brightest people I know (including myself, at times). Penn had a job that so many people probably dream of having - TV anchor - but it wasn't making him happy. Now he works with his wife doing something he clearly enjoys and he told the world via video Christmas card with his family. Epic.

Staci Ardison: Business Systems Analyst transforms into a power-lifting superhero

Who: Staci Ardison
Was: Business Systems Analyst
Pivoted to: Fitness coach/trainer and power-lifting enthusiast

I came across Staci's story on NerdFitness.com - an awesome community and resource for nerds who want to lead healthy and active lives. The photo that drew me to the post was of Staci in a viking helmet in the midst of what appeared to be a battle cry - an awesome first impression.

Staci, like many of her fellow Americans, took a corporate desk job and slowly became unhealthy through convenient eating options, inactivity, and smoking a pack of cigarettes a day (yikes!). After her doctor told her that she had high cholesterol, Staci joined the gym, hit the elliptical, and started eating less. The result? She lost 50 lbs and most of her energy because she was accidentally starving her body. Oops. Happily, she took the initiative to educate herself and eventually found a place in the Nerd Fitness Community. After much learning and encouragement from her fellow Nerds, she turned from cardio to strength training and found her new BFF: the barbell.

“When I say that the second I touched a barbell I fell in love, I’m not joking. People say to me, “oh, its not healthy to lift that much, etc…” Well lifting to me is like going and playing basketball is to someone else. Its a hobby, and a passion. I’m not doing it because I have to, I’m doing it because I want to. I’m simply happier days that I deadlift.”
-Staci Ardison, Nerdfitness.com

Where is Staci now? She works for the very website that cheered her on towards her fitness goals: NerdFitness.com, helping people upgrade their lives every day. While I checked the LinkedIn profiles for everyone in this list to make sure I had my facts straight, Staci's was one of my favorites due to the severe pivot that came out of nowhere in her work history. Marketing Assistant > Campaign Associate > Campaign Developer > Technical Process Manager > Business Systems Analyst > Crossfit Trainer (wait, what just happened?) > Nerd Fitness.

Jeremy Frandsen: TV Editor for E! & Warner Brothers dominates with online business

Who: Jeremy Frandsen
Was: TV Editor for E! Entertainment and Warner Brothers
Pivoted to: Internet entrepreneur, consultant, speaker and author

I found Jeremy and his business partner, Jason Van Orden, through their EXTREMELY successful Podcast: Internet Business Mastery | Get Paid to Live Your Purpose. IBM has been the #1 internet business podcast since 2005, and is jam-packed with enough free knowledge and resources to make anyone into an online marketing superstar. Before braving the world of internet business, Jeremy had a job that sounded glamorous enough. He worked for years editing TV and movie promos for E! Entertainment Television and Warner Brothers out in LA. The problem? His job forced him to live in a city he didn't like, commuting to work 45+ minutes in each direction, and working 10-12 hours a day doing something that wasn't fulfilling. On work days, he made it home just in time to help put his daughters to bed. This continued until he finally reached his limit.

"I finally realized one day that I spent my entire day pretending that I wanted to be there."

Right after he reached his boiling point, a friend handed him Guy Kowasaki's Rich Dad, Poor Dad which served as a catalyst for everything that followed. Within a year of reading the book, he quit his job and dedicated himself to learning internet business and pursuing the freedom and happiness he dreamed of. Fun fact: Upon quitting, he was told "You'll never work in this town again!" - That actually happened in real life! Hilarious.

"I became unemployable the moment I shut the book."

In 2005, he and Jason launched Internet Business Mastery and began teaching others how to turn their strengths and passions into fulfilling internet businesses. Between their blog, podcast, and Internet Business Mastery Academy they empower others to live the lives they want instead of the lives they're handed. If you have any interest in internet business or online marketing, check out his podcast and website - I contribute a HUGE chunk of my marketing knowledge to the plethora of free content they provide, and would not have landed my current job without them!

Scott Harrison: Nightclub promoter bounces back as a charity champion

Who: Scott Harrison
Was: Nightclub and event promoter
Pivoted to: Humanitarian and founder of charity:water

I had the pleasure of seeing Scott present his story live at HubSpot's Inbound 2013 conference, and it was absolutely incredible. Scott described his former life as a nightclub and event promoter in graphic detail - the unhealthy lifestyle of late nights and lots of booze, throwing money away on expensive bottles of booze, losing touch with his faith, and no purpose. After hitting rock bottom and declaring "spiritual bankruptcy," he walked away from the NYC night life with the mission of pursuing a completely opposite new life. And he did not screw around.

Next stop on Scott's journey? West Africa, aboard a floating hospital called a Mercy Ship, which offered free medical care to some of the worlds poorest countries. As the ship's photojournalist, he got an up-close look at real poverty and the devastating results that came from entirely solvable problems. Of particular interest to Scott was the number of people suffering from terrible water-bourne diseases which left them deformed, covered in tumors, or blind. People were forced to poison themselves with diseased and dirty drinking water, and Scott decided to do something about it.

At first, he started using the skills from his previous life (throwing and promoting parties) to raise money and fund water projects to bring clean running water to villages overseas. Eventually, his idea grew into charity:water - a highly-successful, very cool, and very accessible charity which has provided clean water to 3.5 million people in 20 countries. One of the most popular ways they raise funds is through their Birthday Projects, which allows you to pledge your birthday to the cause as Scott did in the beginning. You get a campaign page and direct your friends and family to donate to your campaign instead of buying birthday presents. This cutsey-sounding idea has yielded over $9-million from over 48,000 birthday projects. That's a whole lot of clean water.

CLICK HERE TO READ PART 2

That's it for Part 1! What did you think? Anyone feeling particularly inspired? Which of these stories was your favorite? Tell me all about it in the comments below.

10 Mind-altering and Inspiring Quotes from Highly Successful People

dan@superself.org (Dan Hulsman) — Mon, 16 Dec 2013 20:10:00 GMT

I'll start with a bit of honesty: I'm not a huge fan of quotes. It is incredibly frustrating to watch myself and others read/listen to an epic quote and then do absolutely nothing. When I worked at Apple, I saw so many people idolize Steve Jobs and talk about his famous commencement speech... only to turn back to their busy and unfulfilled lives (this isn't an assumption - they told me so) and do precisely NOTHING to change their situation. So many amazingly talented, smart, and creative people are frozen in place and 99% of the time these inspirational quotes do nothing to help them break free. Having said that, I was reminded this past weekend that the right quote at the right time can give you the kick in the pants that you need to get started or keep moving. For this reason, I'm hopping on the bandwagon and sharing 10 of the best quotes I've heard that not only inspire but challenge you to change the way you think.

"Instead of wondering when your vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don't need to escape from."

Seth Godin,
Author, speaker, blogger, and founder of squidoo.com

Why I like this quote: It spits in the face of the status quo. In my opinion, the work culture in the United States is broken and the standard 2-weeks vacation that most full-time employees 'enjoy' is a joke. Every time I hear someone say something like "I just have to survive the week," or "Is it Friday yet?" or "I'm dreading going to work tomorrow morning," I think of what a shame it is to live life that way.

"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with."

Jim Rohn,
Entrepreneur

Why I like this quote: I've had many great friends - best friends, even - move in and out of my life. Some friends have stepped to the forefront while others have taken a more passive, backseat role in my life. Regardless of the reason for this organic and never-ending life change, the result is the same. The people you surround yourself with influence you and vice versa. Are you dating someone who is bubbly and spontaneous? I bet that's rubbed off a bit. Do you work with/for someone who is endlessly pessimistic and complains all the time? That's poisonous, and it could be making you weaker. Off the top of my head, I know who my 5 people are and how they've shaped me as a person over the last few years. I can even expand to 10 people and point to the effects that each of them have had on me over the past 2-3 years. The point is this: Because you are the summation of the five people you spend the most time with, choose wisely.

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

George Bernard Shaw,
Playwright, critic, political activist

Why I like this quote: Small ideas do not change the world, and reasonable people do little to change themselves, others, or the world around them. If you think small and dream safely, your life story will reflect this. Those who stubbornly insist on change are those who cause change.

"A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone."

Henry David Thoreau,
Author, poet, philosopher, among many other things

Why I like this quote: Ever seen Downtown Abbey? Or any Batman movie? Something that these rick folks have in common is that they have somebody else doing things for them. Bruce Wayne does not cook, clean, shop, or take the car in for an oil change. Alfred does all of these things for him so Bruce can focus on doing what he wants: Being Batman. He does not have to worry about his company or his finances or his landscaping - these things are all taken care of by SOMEONE ELSE. For me, automation and simplification are a means to achieve this richness and get things off of my plate so I can focus on the important. The less activities that you have to use your physical and mental energies for, the better.

"A wealth of information creates a poverty of attention and the need to allocate that attention efficiently among the overabundance of information sources that might consume it."

Herbert Simon,
Recipient of the Nobel Memorial prize in economics

Why I like this quote: This has spawned several similar, shorter quotes, that have influenced me greatly over the past 3 years. So many things compete for our attention from so many different directions, and it is critical to protect our attention and only make allowances for the things that are worth it. In summation, your attention is a finite and valuable commodity. Treat it that way.

"For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?' And whenever the answer has been 'No' for too many days in a row, i know I need to change something."

Steve Jobs,
Innovator, founder and former CEO of Apple, Inc.

Why I like this quote: His famous commencement speech is filled with little jewels of wisdom, but this is my favorite because it is both visionary and extremely practical. As sweeping and romantic as the idea may be, it resonates so deeply with me because in order to do what Steve described you have to take full responsibility for your own happiness and well-being (something I see people avoiding far too often).

"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it, because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

Howard Thurman,
Author, philosopher, and civil rights leader

Why I like this quote: These two sentences hit me like a punch to the face. What a fantastic call-to-action: COME ALIVE. There are so many people going through the motions, leading unfulfilled lives, or compromising their personal happiness/wellbeing in our culture. Mindset is infectious, and every bad mood and random act of kindness you encounter has a cause and a rippling effect. Maybe I'm an optimist, but imagine if every single person in the world agreed to live their life with purpose and ignited their passion.

"What we fear to do most is usually what we most need to do."

Timothy Ferriss,
Author, entrepreneur, angel investor, and public speaker

Why I like this quote: Tim regularly preaches and practices exploring/exceeding personal limits, personal growth by expanding your sphere of comfort, and staring your fears down as you charge towards them with a sword raised and a battle-cry screaming out of your face. While he has a lot of great quotes, I chose this one because I believe it encapsulates many of his values in a simple sentence.

"Action is great cure for fear."

Jason Van Orden,
Entrepreneur, author, speaker

Why I like this quote: Because it's the damned truth! Even if it's a baby step, taking a single step towards your goal or your desired outcome helps reframe the situation, boosts your confidence, and brings the next step within striking distance. How many times have you done something that you were afraid of, only to find it MUCH easier the second time?

“Sleep your way to the top.”

Arianna Huffington,
Journalist, entrepreneur

Why I like this quote: It’s funny, but it has a critical message behind it for the day and age we’re living in. I heard her keynote speech at HubSpot's Inbound 2013 conference in August - amazing. Arianna is a huge advocate of wellness as a major indicator of success, and often speaks about the impact of taking good or poor care for your body and mind. She preaches that corporations should measure the wellness and happiness of their people as importantly as they measure profitability, and encourages everyone to sleep and rest your mind to be truly effective and creative. We've created a 'culture of burnout,' and it's important to protect yourself from it.

There you have it - 10 great quotes from 10 very successful folks. Have one to share? Leave it in the comments below, or share on Facebook & Twitter.

Guide: Holiday Shopping like a Secret Agent

dan@superself.org (Dan Hulsman) — Fri, 06 Dec 2013 16:26:00 GMT

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Infiltrate a hostile and complex facility, retrieve the package, and get out unscathed. Sound familiar? You guessed right - I'm talking about Christmas shopping at the mall in December. Nightmare scenario. You will probably have to do some holiday shopping this year and, unless you're an early-bird and you've already finished you're shopping (jerk), the situation is getting trickier by the day. A lot of this may seem like common sense, but I assure you that most people will do exactly the opposite and waste time, money, and energy in the process. Follow the advice in this article and you just might make it out alive.

The purpose of this article is to use holiday shopping as an example and exercise in purposeful action and deliberate use of your time and energy. If you can do this with your holiday shopping list, you will see immediate benefits through these tactics which can be applied to other areas of your life. Save yourself some time, spare yourself some unnecessary stress, and use your energy where it counts.

A Clear Mission Objective

In Casino Royale, James Bond had to defeat an opponent in a high-stakes poker game to force him into clemency. In Mission Impossible 3, Ethan Hunt needed to break into a secure building and steal a device called "the Rabbit's Foot". What did both of them have in common? A clear and specific goal to their mission. Agent Hunt did not sling-shot himself from one rooftop to another and break into the building to browse and see if there were and WMDs worth stealing - he knew exactly what he needed, ignored the rest, got in, and got out. Mission accomplished. This is how you should think about your holiday shopping list: Be extremely deliberate and thoughtful with your time and actions, and have a clear goal. If you go into a shopping mall with the goal of "shopping for family members," you will waste hours perusing the stores seeking inspiration OR you will purchase a bunch of crap that your family members will politely smile about and never use. It's the difference between trying to fit a gift to the person versus trying to fit the person to a gift. Example: My awesome Mom will, despite my age, occasionally buy me clothing that she thinks I could use or would like. When she happens to pass something that's on sale and buys it for me, it's hit-or-miss as to whether I'll like it (though I'll admit she has a pretty good success rate). Last Christmas, on the other hand, my Mother was on a mission to get me a new leather jacket to replace an old tattered one that I just couldn't let go of yet. The result? I ended up with a totally badass, warm black leather jacket that goes with a t-shirt just as well as it does with a shirt and tie. Mission: Accomplished. Thanks, Mom!

SuperSelf Tip: Do yourself a favor, and spend some quiet-time brainstorming gift ideas for the people on your holiday list BEFORE going to the store. Your wallet, watch, and gift recipients will thank you.

Defining the Worst-case Scenario

Every mission has an objective and a risk of failure; holiday shopping is no different. You might obtain the required gifts or you might strike out and walk away empty-handed after hours of sifting through the shelves and aisles. Either way, it's important to know what your goal is and what will happen if you totally strike out so that you're prepared (or at the very least, not surprised). I used to go Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve as a tradition, and one time I got home late enough to upset my family. Oops. With all of the odds stacked against me, I should have known that I was playing with fire and would eventually get burned by a traffic jam or an excessively-long line at the cash register. Not only did I get home later than I promised, I was extremely anxious and irritable on the trafficky drive home. Road rage on Christmas Eve? No thanks. If I had expected to hit traffic and long lines and take three times longer than usual to complete my mission (instead of assuming that the planets would align for me and everything would be fine), I would have been mentally prepared for the long lines and traffic (and less stressed). I also would've left the mall earlier. Finally, I had a couple pending gift purchases for people I wouldn't see until New Years Eve and I was killing myself to find the gift before Christmas just in case Santa came by to do an audit. Was that payoff worth the risk? Nope. Some missions should just be aborted.

SuperSelf Tip: Know that you might fail, have reasonable expectations, and have a backup plan if possible. If you're in a tight spot, make sure you don't do anything stupid that might jeopardize time with your family or your budget. Avoiding this avoids stress.

Using your Mission Intelligence Effectively

Assuming you've defined your goals for a December trip to the mall, it's time to lay out what you know about the scenario. The parking situation will suck. There will be a LOT of people. There will probably be lines. Product availability may be an issue. There will probably be traffic. You will probably encounter at least one overly-stressed mother with a screaming child dragging behind her. These are things that you know and use. James Bond expects to be shot at when he goes into enemy territory, so he doesn't lose his cool when the first shot is fired. The Black Widow knows that she will not have an extraction plan when she goes on a mission, so she doesn't freak out when she finds herself all alone in a foreign country with a manhunt on her tails. If you expect to coast through normal traffic and find a parking spot within three rows of the door to the food court, you will likely be disappointed and upset by your reality. Be smart, and be prepared:

The parking situation will suck: Park far away from the mall entrance to avoid most of the chaos, or budget extra time. Expect the chaos and stay calm - Santa hates angry drivers.
Product availability may be an issue: Brainstorm multiple gift possibilities for the people on your list.
You will probably encounter an overly-stressed mother with a screaming child: Remember that patience is a good thing. Tell her how cute the kid is to remind her to smile. Hold the door for her. Moms have it the hardest at Christmas time, so remind yourself to cut them some slack.

Have a Holiday Plan of Attack

If the Mall is an enemy compound, your route should be well thought-out and effective. Think about the gifts you need, the locations of the stores in the mall, and the best way to get through. Know a shortcut? Use it. If you find yourself passing the same store multiple times, you're wasting YOUR time. If you've got a solid two-hour mission ahead of you, eat beforehand or work the food court into your route. If you're like me and you lose steam after about an hour, force yourself to fight for survival by starting with the stores FARTHEST from where you parked so you have to work your way back. I used to always park at the food court entrance, which was the stupidest because it was the busiest and I was tempted to buy something to eat/drink before AND after shopping. Parking outside of the least-popular department store entrance proved far easier once I wised up. Got a plan? Stick to it - don't get distracted or you might accidentally lose 20 minutes playing around in the Apple Store without realizing it.

Divide and Conquer: Co-op Missions

If you find yourself with a companion on your mission, consider the lists before going into the fray. Married couples will likely have collaborated on gift lists for friends, family, and the kiddos. If you tackle the entire list together, prancing around the mall while holding hands, it might take you four hours of usable time for a two-hour trip to the mall (2 hours for him + 2 hours for her = 4 total hours of shopping time). If you divide the list and each take half, you can complete the mission in half the time (1 hour for him + 1 hour for her = 2 hours). One approach is clearly smarter than the other, if feasible. Time is precious in December - if you're really concerned about being 'together,' get the shopping done in half the time and go out to dinner together with the extra time you saved.

The Online Assault

Shopping on Amazon.com does not exempt you from this stuff. You can waste hours browsing holiday deals and buy a bunch of crap if you don't have a clear idea of what you're shopping for. Have a backup plan, batch your shopping on fewer sites to save on shipping and take advantage of discounts, divide and conquer with a spouse if possible, leave extra time for shipping and be mindful of inclement weather and where you're going to be when the package is delivered.

That's all, folks! Try to exercise some of these tips on your next shopping mission and remember - be extremely purposeful with your time and energy. Happy Holidays!

3 Simple Tricks for Increasing Motivation and Holding Yourself Accountable

dan@superself.org (Dan Hulsman) — Wed, 27 Nov 2013 18:02:00 GMT

In this article, I'll discuss a few different tactics to hold yourself accountable and boost motivation. Accountability is a tricky thing - it can become a source of motivation and quickly turn on the edge of a knife, becoming an equally powerful de-motivator. Additionally, some of the best motivational outlets are grossly underutilized. By leveraging the useful outlets and avoiding the ones that make us feel like crap, we can quickly propel ourselves forward to SuperSelf status. Let's take a look at some of the most commonly-overlooked or underutilized ways you can hold yourself more accountable today.

Have a Plan - not a Checklist

What's the difference between a plan and a checklist? A goal. A checklist is arbitrary and can quickly bloat beyond the size of a single page, infecting your mind and overwhelming you with possibly-irrelevant tasks that, at the end of the day, accomplish precisely nothing. A plan, on the other hand, can have check-able actions but are always tied down to a goal. This subtle difference infuses your actions with purpose and gives you a foreseeable endgame. Having the goal staring you in the face as you write out your tasks also helps you weed out the unimportant. Eating healthier, going to the gym regularly, and drinking more water is a checklist and a short path to failure for most people looking to 'get healthy' (not a real, specific goal). Eating 30g of protein for breakfast 6 days a week for 4 weeks, on the other hand, has an expiration date I can look forward to on the way to my goal of losing 5 lbs this month.

Another recent example from my life is wedding planning. Planning a wedding involves SEVERAL tasks that can easily become stressful and overwhelming because they distract you from what’s important. Does it really matter if the save-the-date cards are perfect? Nope - It's a postcard, and nobody will look at it for more than a collective 60 seconds. Pick one, send it, and move on to the food tasting because that's way more fun and important to you. Whether or not you obsess over those save-the-dates, the post card doesn't play any role in your goal of a dream wedding full of music and delicious food and a beautiful setting. It may not seem like a huge difference, but a slight disconnect between your goals and your actions can destroy your progress.

Articulate and Vocalize Your Intentions

This is an EXTREMELY powerful tactic that most people overlook. I researched marketing and internet business for a year before telling my fiance, out loud, that I had a desire to start an internet business someday. Once I told her what I wanted to do and WHY I wanted to do it, she was able to support me on the matter. I went from being alone on the matter for over a year to having my #1 supporter backing me up. Finally, I decided to start this blog and one of the best things I did was announce the blog launch to my personal Facebook network - not because it was something they would all want to read (most of them weren't interested in the niche topic I wrote about), but because it gave people the opportunity to "Like" and comment on my action and progress. I received several comments encouraging me on the launch which was great to see whenever I felt my motivation dipping a bit. Most importantly, I didn’t want to make a liar out of myself; When I set the launch date of November 20th for Superself.org, I publicly gave myself a 20-day deadline to get things off the ground.

If we circle back to the weight loss example for a moment, let's use two different scenarios to illustrate this important difference. In both scenarios, I've decide that I want to lose 10 pounds and get into better cardiovascular shape by running 3 times a week and substituting my usual breakfast (a bagel with cream cheese) for a protein shake. In Scenario A, I use Facebook to post how many miles I've run and a photo of each protein shake right before I chug it. In Scenario B, I use Facebook to post how many miles I've run and a photo of each protein shake right before I chug it - BUT, before I do any of this I write a brief post to my friends and family: "Hey all - I've decided to set a goal of losing 10 lbs over the next month by running 3 times per week and having protein shakes for breakfast instead of a bagel. It will be very difficult to give up my precious bagels and get myself out for each run (especially during the first week), and I would really appreciate your verbal support throughout the month as I post updates on my progress. Losing 10 lbs this month is very important to me and any encouragement you can offer would be very appreciated. Thanks in advance for your support, Dan". Which Scenario do you think would yield more encouragement from my friends and family? I'm betting on Scenario B. In Scenario A, I probably just look like an asshole who wastes your time with photos of my breakfast.

Share and Document your Progress. Publicly.

This final tactic takes 'sharing your progress' to an uncomfortable, albeit extremely effective, degree. It’s not for everyone, but if you try for yourself I'll be damned if you don't find it extremely effective. Let's use three examples:

1. Goal = I want to lose 15lbs for beach season
What to do: Take a 'before' picture of yourself in a bathing suit and post it to Facebook, or take a picture of everything you eat each day and post it publicly. If you've announced your goal of slimming down, you'll think twice before publicly eating half of a pizza. Documenting improvements in your physique or diet will be initially terrifying but ultimately liberating and motivational.
2. Goal = I want to play learn to improvise blues/rock guitar solos
What to do: Record yourself trying to do this now, regardless of how bad you sound. Having a laugh at your own expense about how you make your guitar gently weep in a BAD way takes some of the pressure off, and documenting your incremental improvements will bring cheers and purpose to your practicing.
3. Goal = I want to write an epic novel
What to do: Every time you write something, post it. Unless you're terribly concerned about copyrighting your material (most people are not trying to right a best-seller), write something and put it out there for the world to read or share brief synopsis. "Today I wrote 1,000 words of the novel - Chapter 3, the main character just found out that his adoptive mother was murdered. Shocked by this discovery, he boards a plane to London to confront his adoptive father and investigate further. Wrote through the end of the conversation with the father, who revealed a startling truth about the hero's childhood."

This is a terrifying route to take, but you'll be leveraging negative feelings that you probably already experience to your advantage by turning them into rocket fuel for your motivation. Everyone has body image issues sometimes, and will beat themselves up about it. Telling the world 'F**k it - this is what I don't like and I'm changing it now. Watch me.' can teach you that you're not alone in your struggle, and that weight is just a unit of weight measurement instead of self-worth, and suddenly your shame is forged into bravery. Putting yourself out there as a musician can take an insecurity about your playing/singing into a hilarious journey of mistakes and improvements that you share with your peers. 'Accountability' can become a positive word if you let it.

One note with this approach: Everyone has an opinion on what you should be doing, even if they don't have any business saying so (myself included). If you go the public route, stick to your original plan and only listen to suggestions from trusted people who provide information/resources that compliment your existing plan. Ignore the rest of the noise.

Questions and Actions

There you have it! Three solid tactics for holding yourself accountable and/or providing a new source of inspiration and motivation on your personal quest. Pick one and give it a shot and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by the results. If you're up for it, I'd love to hear how it goes - share in the comments below.

What’s ONE goal that you can work towards with one of these methods? Share it in the comments or on Facebook!

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How to Use Your Superhero Role Models to Set Real-Life Goals

dan@superself.org (Dan Hulsman) — Thu, 21 Nov 2013 04:47:00 GMT

It's time to discover my SuperSelf. This persona, which I will strive to become throughout the course of this journey, should be a pretty good representation of the person I want to be and the life I want to live. Throughout my 28.5 years of life so far, I've probably conjured up several versions of what this might look like for myself - ranging from super-powered hero to celebrity actor to rock star to successful business owner. It's curious to think that my dreams have covered such a wide spectrum of personas, and I've only mentioned a handful! But how did I come up with the notion that being a rock star or a super hero would be a great gig? Super heroes get into fights all the time and usually have some sob-story background that motivates them, and most of them wear masks so they can't even take credit for their actions when they're not wearing their spandex uniforms! Rock stars get all the chicks, popularity, and celebrity treatment you could ask for but often struggle with substance abuse, privacy, and critical reception. How did these personas get into my head in the first place? The answer is simple: Heroes and role models.

I'm going to share some of my heroes and role models from past and present, and analyze why they appeal to me. The goal? To distill from these heroes a more achievable set of criteria that will accomplish my desired result. These superheroes appear in no particular order.

Examining the Superhero Role Model

Special abilities, super-strength, epic battles and cool costumes. Every little boy probably has at least one superhero-themed birthday party, and every male probably fantasizes about being a superhero well into adulthood. But what makes these characters so appealing? We're going to look at three examples from my personal repertoire - Iron Man, Goku, James Bond, and the original Red Power Ranger - and sift through the superficial parts to extract the core values that appeal to me the most.

Superhero Role Model #1: Iron Man

Iron Man wears a suit of robotic armor which imbues him with such perks as flight, super-strength, and shooting lasers from his hands. A self-proclaimed "Genius, billionaire, playboy [and] philanthropist," Tony Stark/Iron Man has it all: women, robot suits, fast cars, and an immaculate goatee. These are some of the good things. But what else does this superhero role model tote? Alcohol dependencies, daddy issues, heart problems, war-mongering, and strained relationships with friends and allies - yikes! Superman's an orphan, but at least he had caring adoptive parents, a solid upbringing, perfect health and an unfaltering moral compass. So why do I prefer the idea of Iron Man over the Man of Steel? Because Superman has it too easy. Iron Man exists in a world where Captain America, Spider-Man, the Hulk, the X-Men and Thor are running around with innate superpowers. The difference? Iron Man wasn't born a Mutant, didn't suffer some freak superpower-inducing accident, or descend from Norse gods. Someone gave the Captain his powers, Spider-Man got bitten by a spider because he wasn't paying attention, and the Hulk accidentally fried himself with radiation. The X-Men, Thor, and Superman were born super-beings. Iron Man, on the other hand, is a self-made superhero (and he did it on purpose, Banner!). He saw a need and an opportunity, and he innovated. He has near-unlimited money, and yet he didn't outsource or delegate his armor production to someone else. He grabbed a hammer and got to work until the job was done.

So what can we learn from my infatuation with Iron Man? If we were to filter out all of the fleeting desires to have super-strength and laser beams coming out of my palms, I would boil it down to the following appealing qualities. Iron Man is an innovator, a witty genius, and a self-made superhero. If I get rid of the noise of rocket boots and drinking problems, it comes down to these three things. Happily, I already consider myself witty and very smart, and I while my track record doesn't indicate that I'm an innovator right now I'm not sure that bothers me. That leaves us with the self-made superhero quality, and it is this quality that we will extract from Iron Man and put on the to-do list. And also rocket boots.

Superhero Role Model #2: Goku

A super-baby from outer space crash lands on Earth, is taken in and raised by humans, and ultimately grows up to be the greatest defender of our planet. Still not talking about Superman - Goku from the Dragon Ball Z series is next on the list. The humble do-gooder is a Martial arts master who can throw Streetfighter-esque fireballs, fly, teleport, and instantly multiply his power and change his hair from black to gold by getting angry. Cool! He's also kind of dumb (never went to school), can't drive a car, and has gotten himself killed two or three times.

So why Goku, you ask? This is a tougher one to decipher. Goku has the unwavering boyscout code of conduct that Superman totes, and that definitely motivates him to defend the world and all of that - but that's not all that motivates him when facing off against a killer robot or a giant space monkey or a genetically-engineered killing machine. Goku loves a challenge. He loves the thrill of pushing his limits and acknowledges that pushing his limits is the best way to improve. Not only is excited to go toe-to-toe against a foe that could very easily be more powerful, he's also extremely humble when beaten and sees it as an opportunity to get better. Let's distill this blurb into the following trait: Goku isn't afraid to take on overwhelming challenges head-on, be it for personal improvement or because it's necessary to avoid planetary destruction. Another easy one to extract from Goku is that, when he shows up on the scene, everyone else feels better off. On the battlefield, he puts his allies at ease because he's not afraid and wields incredible power. Off the battlefield, he's appreciative of the important things in life (friends, family, etc) and is free-spirited and carefree. All in all, being around him has a positive effect because he's a constant, reassuring good force in the universe. That'll be a tough one to nail, but it's going on the list.

Superhero Role Model #3: Red Power Ranger

The original Red Ranger was awesome. While you won't often find me sporting red clothing, if I were to pick a Power Ranger to be it would be the Red Ranger. He rocked a sword and a laser gun at the same time, was a master of martial arts, and when the going got tough he got into a giant robot T-Rex. When his team mates combined their powers (and giant robots), who was at the helm? The Red Ranger. Whether they were combining their weapons into some ridiculous sword/bow/lance/axe/dagger combination that shot giant lasers or the giant robots combined into an even bigger robot, it was the Red Ranger with his finger on the trigger or his hands on the controls. Not a bad gig.

So what does the Red Ranger offer in terms of viable personality traits? Not a whole lot, actually; while this may surprise you, TV characters on children's action shows don't have a whole lot of depth to them. But there was one function that the Red Ranger served until he left the show - he was a great leader. Boom. On the list.

Superhero Role Model #4: James Bond

Bond is probably one of the more common ones among men, and has the potential for being the most deceptive of my bunch. When people think of James Bond, they think of tuxedos, gadgets, martinis, girls and guns. This one should be easy, right? Here's the thing: Tuxedos are out of style and are uncomfortable unless you're buying a really nice one (which nobody does anymore), my iPhone can do more than most Bond gadgets could in the first 20-30 movies, and I don't have much of a desire to mess with a gun in real life. Bond girl? Got a great one of those already - check. Martinis? I drink those sometimes, but I'm not too fond of the vodka martini and I'm not about to pay $8-10 for a drink I'm not fond of. Gin martinis? Check. Now that we've gotten the obvious stuff out of the way, let's move on to the stuff that matters to me.

Bond knows how to dress. Period. Tuxedo, suit, casual wear, swim wear - he always looks good. In my opinion, it's important to know how you're presenting yourself to the world and know how to use that to your advantage. He's also in excellent physical condition (probably in better shape at age 45 than I've ever been in my life). Finally, Bond gets to travel the world and visit exotic locations; I've only been overseas once for a 10-day choir tour that had such a jam-packed itinerary I had a tough time slowing down to enjoy my surroundings.

A Recipe for Awesomeness: The SuperSelf Formula

After spending some time with these super-hero role models of my past and present, I think I've extracted the traits that have the most meaning for me. I may never pilot a giant robot dinosaur (tentatively on the list) or shoot fireballs and lasers from my hands while flying through the air, but that's OK.... for now. I may make a list of "stretch goals" later on to add some of the more fun, unrealistic components just to see what I can pull off, but for now these traits have been added to my SuperSelf Formula:

• Become a self-made superhero - my SuperSelf!
• Fearlessly take on overwhelming or seemingly-impossible challenges
• Be a constant, reassuring good force in the universe
• Be a great leader
• Know how to dress impeccably
• Get in excellent physical condition
• Travel the world and visit exotic locations (boat chases and evil masterminds optional).

Questions and Actions

Your turn. In the comments below, or on the SuperSelf Facebook page, answer the following questions:

Which superhero role model have you admired or been a fan of for a long time (perhaps since childhood)?
If you strip away all of the completely unrealistic elements of the character (super powers, seemingly unlimited wealth, etc), what is left that still appeals to you about the character? This can be a personality trait, status, relationship, or unique skill.
If you could wave a magic wand and instantly acquire this characteristic for yourself, how would it change your life?

How to Set Specific Goals and Avoid Failure

dan@superself.org (Dan Hulsman) — Wed, 20 Nov 2013 16:46:00 GMT

If you want to become the best version of yourself, it's probably a good idea to figure out what that might look like before you begin. Why's that, you ask? If I want to become a better athlete, that's all well and good. Hell, it sounds like a pretty noble goal on the surface. But without defining what it means to be a better athlete, how do I know if I achieve my goal? How do I even know if I'm heading in the right direction? Becoming a "better athlete" is too ambiguous, and is subject to an extremely high rate of failure or abandonment because you'll have no idea what the hell you're working towards or whether or not you're succeeding or failing. Does being a "better athlete" mean that I can run faster/jump higher/lift heavier weights at the gym? Does it mean all of those things?! If so, I can think of no other way to fail at something than to try to do everything at the same time.

The Importance of Defining your Goal

To lay the groundwork for success, it's necessary to be more specific. You could try to become a "better athlete," but you may end up with a mash-up of activities that feel like a prescription fro success but achieve precisely nothing. If you were to to try and become a "better distance runner," on the other hand, that helps narrow down your activities a bit. The problem is that ambiguous "better" part; If you want to be able to run 9-minute miles for a half-marathon (13.1 miles), the goal becomes much clearer and the steps necessary to achieve it become easier to uncover. With a specific goal in sight, we can establish a starting point to see what the delta is between our current self and our SuperSelf for this particular task and create a plan to bridge the gap. With an unclear goal and end-point in mind, you will likely mistep, give up, or fail to see results.

Researching the task at hand also becomes a much easier task, as Googling "becoming a better athlete" will have me bleeding from the eyes from the sheer volume of crap I'd have to sift through to find valuable data that may or may not be relevant to my ambiguous goal. See below screenshot; I get habits for elite athletes, basic tips, tips for getting bigger, and tips for being a better runner. What if I wanted to improve my endurance as a soccer player?

Now let's try searching for a specific goal. With a specific goal of 9-minute miles for 13 miles, I know that my goal finishing time is just under 2 hours for a half marathon. Look at the difference in the top search results; They are all super-relevant and include things like pre-made training schedules, plans, and a pace calculator.

A Few Examples

Life is no different than Google - if you don't define what you want, you probably won't get it. Shopping is another great example of this; If you go to the furniture store to find new furniture, but you have no idea what color/style/pieces you want in the room, you'll spend a couple hours browsing and you'll either (1) find nothing or (2) buy something that you probably won't be happy with in a couple months.

Here’s an example from my personal repertoire: I want to become a better guitar player - but I must be more specific. I want to be able to improvise blues and rock solos on the electric guitar, specifically in the styles of John Mayer and B.B. King. See how easy that was? Now I can pick apart John & B.B.'s playing styles, focus on chord theory for rock and blues music, and teach myself the core skills necessary to improvise within that context. Boom.

More examples:
Get in shape - Lose 15lbs in 2 months
Write a book - Write at least 200 words every day for a month
Find a new job - Profile 5 companies I’d like to work that offer better health benefits and apply
Go on vacation - Explore the vineyards of the French Riviera for a week
Make more money - Make at least $4,000 per month to pay off student loans by 2015

Your turn! Take one of your ambiguous goals that you’ve been hanging onto for awhile - that New Years resolution you’ve made 3 years in a row, that childhood dream you haven’t talked about in a few years - and give it some laser focus. Once your goal is crystalized, you can break it into smaller, manageable pieces and take your first step forward.

What’s your goal? Share it with me in the comments below, the SuperSelf Facebook page, or on Twitter with #superself.